Holding myself accountable
This is how I do it
Accountability has to be one of the worst things in life, right? After all, none of us hold ourselves accountable in areas such as ‘let’s eat 5 bags of Haribo each week’.
Instead, it relates to things we know we need to do but are likely to either put off or, worse still, consciously decide to do something that is much more fun. Often to the detriment of our health, our wealth, or our work.
This stuff has been on my mind recently.
For part of the context, I’ve been head down and focused most of this week on a project for the next six months at the dt group. This evolved into creating an interim strategy, and the project plan to at the very least get this kicked off.
One of the big problems with anything like this is retaining the motivation once it becomes a bit boring. Once started, how do you finish?
I’ve had the same problem personally too.
I created some accountability systems there. They’ll likely be the topic of a more business focused blog. For now, I want to talk about the personal accountability.
This project comes off the back of an extremely hectic time at work. Since August, we have done some *big stuff* which can’t be shared just yet - although may be public by the time this is released. In addition to that, I’ve been to several countries, opened our office in Southend formally, recruited our first Essex team member, sorted the rebranding, kicked off conversations with overseas partners, set up plans around my personal content creation, all sorts. It has been a month of sheer energy and busy-ness.
And my body is feeling it.
I realised I hadn’t had a day off. For the WHOLE MONTH.
(And a bit more in fact. Just before this all kicked off, my dressing room fell apart. It had to be sorted before I headed to Saudi and Dubai for events).
I haven’t been sleeping until 3 am regularly, despite efforts to do better. Some nights have been inadvertent all nighters.
My skin has started to show eczema for the first time in a couple of years.
My diet has gone to pot. I’m carrying a few extra kilo’s and a constant sugar headache. My nutrition consists of Haribo and Cadbury’s.
Fun fact: I did a quick tally up of just my dinner last night. Large German Doner Kebab meal with extra meat. Can of Fanta. 4 extra spring rolls. Extra sauce. One pack of Ginger Nut biscuits. Half a pack of Custard Cremes. Two (yes two) share bags of sweets - Fruit Pastilles and Wine Gums. Two apples. A banana. And the day before, I had a Pizza Hut meal deal, a share bag of Haribo fizzy cola bottles, and a multipack of Snickers bars as a starter. Yes, a multipack. Slightly better than last night, but…
No wonder I’m not sleeping well, feeling great, and so on.
The thing is, we set the standards that we tolerate. And often, those standards are far lower than we’d want them to be.
I’ve loved my weight loss, but it wasn’t all about weight.
Part of it was forced on me through the changes in my life, part through health.
I loved it.
I looked better, felt better, was better.
For the first time in my adult life, I’d been getting female attention (possibly due to the fact that I’m single for the first time so am now noticing it, but regardless I’ll take it as a win!).
For the first time in 5 years, I was no longer the biggest in the room. Not so much belly, but sheer size. Arms the size of my very fat neck. I could start wearing ordinary clothes again. No longer getting awful rashes, struggling to breathe, sore joints, and so much more.
For the first time in 10 years, I was no longer the chubby one. A ‘bigger lad’. Who’s clothes always looked like an extreme version of the slim fit trend kicked off by Dior just a few years before, even if marked up as ‘relaxed’.
For the first time in 15 years (if not longer), I tipped into the 75kgs. Then the 73s…
Why wasn’t that enough?
I’d hit my target.
I’d reached the ‘goal’.
The ‘goal’ was basically to look good in a t shirt, and I got there. But it wasn't the real goal. I knew logically about the benefits of exercise and weight loss. I’d seen some of them. But all I cared about was a number and a look.
Wardrobe refreshed, feeling amazing, I lapped up the comments and compliments.
But inside, over the last month, I haven’t felt as good inside as the outside shows. Yes, it is still a huge weight loss, and no, no-one will see 3kgs extra if they haven’t seen me since before the massive drop (which is most people to be honest). But I’m feeling the sluggishness of a different man.
So, I spoke to Lorenzo*, my PT, about next steps. I desperately needed accountability.
(Side note - I’d spoke to him before, about two months ago I guess, and nothing happened after. With hindsight, I’d already hit the goal that I repeated on the day - look good in t shirts).
This time, our chat was different.
I was totally open and honest. I want my sleep back. I want delineation between work and home to allow me to enjoy and be my best at both. I want to be fit and fighting during the gruelling six months ahead (yeah, thanks accountability…). And I don’t want to get anywhere near the weight I was, nor stay where I am.
The drivers this time are different. It’s no longer just about kgs. It’s about life.
So, what accountability systems and thinking am I putting in place?
I share these in the hope that they may help encourage you if you need to do similar.
I made three very small commitments at the end of our catchup. That I’d download the training app (I didn’t last time!), that I’d write this blog to help me think through everything, and that I’d send him a body scanner I mentioned.
I reflected on what worked before. During the first months of my weight loss I was incredibly motivated by the body scanner at Anytime Fitness. I decided to treat myself to a home one for the grand sum of £150 or so. It may not be as precise as the mega bucks ones, but it’ll at least show a path. And getting a breakdown of muscle in body areas is always interesting!
I reflected on what can demonstrate success. As it’s not about weight, I had to think about what I can do to know when I’ve ‘made it’. Clearly, from the above, data is key. I toyed with a Whoop band but I can’t bring myself to pay monthly - a personal finance goal of mine is to leave the subscription economy behind. So, I’m currently weighing up Athlytic and my Apple Watch - a much more reasonable £25 or so per month - and other options. I want to track things like readiness, sleep scores, and so on.
I’ve kicked off thinking about wider wellbeing. I’ve moved my laptop to a permanent home at home, so that I only work there or in the office. I’ve also committed to creating a schedule for personal development and mindfulness in the same way I will for the gym.
I’ve started taking a note of everything about this, daily. After all, what gets measured gets managed.
I’m being choosy about my gym. I need a combo of three things. Adequate equipment, motivated members, and a decent atmosphere. I’ve joined enough gyms to know which ones get me back. Personally I like ones where people are a step above me, and ones with sunbeds and jacuzzis. But I don’t like bell ends, which wipes out most of the second set of gyms. I’ll likely join a gym focused on bodybuilding, so I can take inspiration from those around me. The empty golf club gyms just don’t do it for me… I become an 80 year old like everyone else!
I’m *begging* Lorenzo for the right kind of accountability. This will be a work in progress to find the right way for me, as I’m an oddball. But it will need to cover food and exercise.
I’m building in a reward system. Once I know my baseline metrics, I’ll build a reward system based on stuff I *really* want. I may even find a way to get Lorenzo to administer it to avoid cheating :-)
I’ve saved the best ‘til last…
I’m sharing my data and journey, warts and all. It’s an easy bit of content for me to create, and I really want to test some research and hypotheses that I’ve previously done for my next book. Let’s road test it. Plus, you lot can hold me accountable if you so wish. You can basically see the contents of my planner!
So, there you have it! Join me on this journey, I’ll share my progress and thinking along the way. It’s so much harder for a vain bloke like me to focus on anything beyond biceps and a flat belly - here’s hoping that the thinking works and I can demonstrate both some quantitative and qualitative results!
*Note that Lorenzo has kindly gifted me his time and input and is just as excited to see what the results are - we both strongly believe that life is interconnected, let’s find a shred of proof and perhaps some insights from a bald Essex boy.
Carl Reader is a WH Smith Bestselling Author and international keynote speaker with a real passion for helping people do better. There are two ways to learn more about Carl! You can either follow him on Social Media if you’re just curious (@carlreader on most platforms), or if you’d like to learn a little more about what he does on stage, through content and in the media from a commercial perspective, you can visit his website.
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